yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
