I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
