Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So here I am, sexting at work.
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