You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
