Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
