So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
