You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
