If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
