Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
