epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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