Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I deserve this hangover.
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