i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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