Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
