Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
