just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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