Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize