She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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