Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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