I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
