it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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