ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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