she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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