He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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