Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
