I think I just saw someone hide a body.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
