this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
