...so i touched it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize