If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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