Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
