My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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