I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
