She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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