Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
