I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
