Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize