Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
