I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
