i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
