just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Boobs are out for the taking
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
