Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
