I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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