i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
