Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
