i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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