I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
