I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The uberlube is also flammable
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
