There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
