Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
