you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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