It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
