he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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