i just had sex bonerless
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
