Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
