My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
