but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
