The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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