ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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