found the other keg... it's in the tree
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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