It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
